Today I came across this quote:
“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Great Gatsby)
It made a lot of sense to me. Over the past two years I have felt like my life is crumbling down around me. I have had to deal with a lot including emotional abuse at home, losing family members, being told I’m not good enough at school, being in a long distance relationship, doubting myself, and losing friends. Despite the fact that I have some family support, a caring and wonderful boyfriend and some really lovely friends, I have felt so lonely. Up until recently I really tried to push through things, keep going, just keep trying and it will get better. Unfortunately things haven’t gotten better. So many things have fallen apart that it is becoming hard for me to push on, and at times this week I feel like all I am capable of is sitting and staring blankly. I have decided to embrace that. Maybe instead of pushing through I need to take some time and just stop going for a little bit. Maybe in the moments that I sit and stare blankly I will come up with new plans, and new hope. Maybe instead of pushing past, taking the time to stop and properly let go is what I need for things to get better. Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t…only time will tell, but I am hopeful that I am heading toward a happier path soon.