Here is a post called “Sleepless Nights” from April 2011. I’ve been having some lately so it felt relevant.
Each one is different, no matter how often or scarce they are, and I never know quite what to expect.
Sometimes there is company (in person or through text), sometimes I am left to my own devices.
Tonight is filled with surfing the web, the acknowledgement of the need to study, a few songs on repeat, and a major longing for a walk to the water to watch the moonlight dance on the surface.
Unfortunately I will not be able to take this walk. I do not want to go alone at night in the dark, and I don’t want to run the risk of calling and waking someone to join me as it’s exams, and my go-to people have one tomorrow (I think, I’m almost certain).
Perhaps I will have enough patience to wait until morning, when the sun is just coming up. It means I will miss the moon dance, but it also means I get to see the sun come up from it’s slumber and wake the world from it’s unconscious dreamy state.
Such a state I am hoping will hit me soon, however I am doubtful. It is a master at eluding me at the best of times.